Sonia Faleiro
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Children of Bombay
Last afternoon, my friend Rahul and I were killing time as we awaited the opening of our friend Nyela's art show in Colaba. We spoke of our hopes for the future, our dreams. I said to him something I've thought about for a few months, maybe a year now: I don't want my children to live here. In this city. Maybe even in this country.
My friend is expecting his first child, and he said to me: My wife and I had this same conversation today. But what do we do. Where do we go?'
Why did we say what we did?
I said it because I see with my eyes and in my work, and so it comes through in my writing: in a city where the young, the able, the educated, do not have a chance, what chance will the helpless have? Our children, our elderly parents? The animals we love?
And in Bombay, a city which is dying, I said to Rahul: where will my child study? which libraries will he or she go to?
I said to him, I wanted to buy your wife a pram. But what roads will you push that pram on, which garden? There are no sidewalks in Bombay anymore. There is no clean air. People stone the dogs I feed outside my house. My neighbours say 'No Muslims.' When I landed in the city last week I thought to myself: This looks like Kabul before curfew.
And then we attended the exhibition and to celebrate Nyela's wonderful success we went to Indigo Deli in Colaba, a restaurant which is behind the Gateway of India, behind the iconic Taj Hotel. An hour later a man stepped out of the deli and terrorists shot him dead. Terrorists stormed the Taj, they took hostages, they killed people, they set the dome on fire, blood poured down the stairs.
The Deli was full so we walked down the street and turned left to the Gordon House, a boutique hotel where the guests speak in iPhone's and teenagers wear suits. We ate stir fry and drank campari and then we said, where now?
We stepped out of the hotel and bullets rang in the air, people screamed, a tidal wave raced down the street and the security guard said 'Inside! Madam, Inside NOW!'
We ran inside and I messaged my friend Chandrahas. 'Encounter. We're staying in for now.' We thought then it was a gang war, and it would end soon and Rahul and I looked at one another and we thought: This is what we're bringing our children into the world for.
Even then though there was no fear, only worry and stress. This is Bombay we said to ourselves, we fear no gangs, they are part of our bloodstream.
And then we saw the news, and there we were standing in a silent disco called Polly Esthers, our drinks and mouths dry. Every two years our city burns, we thought, as long as there is blood to shed, these people, whoever they may be, will shed it.
We stayed up all night and watched the news. There were six of us. Someone said, who will you call? And I said we were lucky because so many of the people we cared for most were with us. Chandrahas was elsewhere with Nyela, but they were safe. And our friends and family were safe. We were safe.
When dawn broke, we walked down through the empty hotel, front door barred with chains and locks. Outside the street was silent, and I thought I smelt smoke in the air. I thought momentarily of the Bombay floods three years ago when my flight was on the tarmac for seven hours, and how I then walked in waist deep water to the Orchid Hotel where they wouldn't give me water, and hundreds lay on the reception floor like refugees. I reached home the following night, after a half hour's drive took nine hours.
The security guard, a tall thin Sikh gentleman, who had ushered us back into the hotel when the shooting started, was walking down the street with a friend. His shift had ended. I went up to him, and shook his hand. It felt amazing. 'You saved our lives,' I said to him. 'You didn't have to. We had paid our bill, we were leaving, not entering the hotel. We weren't your responsibility.' He smiled at me, the smile of a little boy. 'Thank you, madam,' he said.
This too is Bombay, I thought to himself. A city where a stranger who owes you nothing will do anything, everything for you.
Then a friend called, she said they may impose curfew soon, if you can, leave now. We raced through the city, we called the ones we love.
When we reached the intersection where we would each go our separate ways, we stuck our heads out of our respective car windows and we said nothing. We looked at one another. My pregnant friend smiled sweetly, she said 'see you soon. In happier times'. We nodded. Her husband. Me. My fiancee. Our married friends.
Our dreams. Our future.
This future we are giving our children, the children of Bombay.
Photo: The Gordon House, photographed as we left it on Thursday morning.
:: posted by Sonia Faleiro, 11:37 AM
32 Comments:
I have typed and deleted, typed and deleted... but there's no comment appropriate enough to respond to this ... Truly amazing.
:'-(
:'-(
sonia, i'm glad you're fine. my friend was holed all night too, but at the deli. how absurd, how terrible, how unthinkable. i don't think anyone in bombay or the rest of the country slept well at all last night. your elegaic and eloquently disquieting post sums it all up. take care.
Very, very moving and beautiful. Be safe.
Thank god you are safe.
I am sending you all my love,
Ulla
I am sending you all my love,
Ulla
I agree with u Sonia.. And this terrorist attack is NOT the reason..
Bombay has lost its soul.. every bodys running somewhere.. there is utter chaos.. people fighting in trains.. on d street, at traffic jams..
Raods are crowded, trains are crowded, parks , beaches, temples, churches, pavements, are crowded
there is vibrancy no doubt.. but wat kind of vibrancy..people are just scared to slow down..
U have hit the nail on its head.. given a choice a lot of people would like to leave this city..
this was a city of dreams .. but looks like the dream didnt turn out so well.
Bombay has lost its soul.. every bodys running somewhere.. there is utter chaos.. people fighting in trains.. on d street, at traffic jams..
Raods are crowded, trains are crowded, parks , beaches, temples, churches, pavements, are crowded
there is vibrancy no doubt.. but wat kind of vibrancy..people are just scared to slow down..
U have hit the nail on its head.. given a choice a lot of people would like to leave this city..
this was a city of dreams .. but looks like the dream didnt turn out so well.
this is really sad .. living in terror everyday that we live in mumbai..
I made the choice some time back. Never to settle in Bombay.
I most definitely save less in the UK than I do back home, but then, I don't have to pay with my or my family's life for the incompetence and callousness of our government, the police and the whole SYSTEM.
They knew it was coming - after Bangalore, Ahmedabad, Delhi. They knew it would happen.
They did nothing!
I most definitely save less in the UK than I do back home, but then, I don't have to pay with my or my family's life for the incompetence and callousness of our government, the police and the whole SYSTEM.
They knew it was coming - after Bangalore, Ahmedabad, Delhi. They knew it would happen.
They did nothing!
I don't know you from adams...but for some reason this story got me teary eyed. Glad to know u're safe.
True...this too is bombay...!
True...this too is bombay...!
When I heard what was going on in Mumbai last night and where you were, I was hysterical, as only those who are not in the middle of the chaos can afford to be. And then I looked at Raoul and thanked God. He was safe. He was with me. But my son will not be five and safely home in bed by 8 forever. My husband and my sister and her fiance were out there. Other people's kids were out there. This is the world we're leaving our kids?
I dont mean to be facetious but I actually do believe that intermarriage is one solution.
Stay safe. Love always.
I dont mean to be facetious but I actually do believe that intermarriage is one solution.
Stay safe. Love always.
Am glad all of you made it safely back home. I was worried last night when I read at Amit's post (or maybe an email with him) that one of his journalist friend's had gone to the Taj to find out more. Thought it was you or Rahul.
Every word here is hard-hitting. Every question we all have been asking, so regularly these days...
I know one of the impression of mumbai is that here people live for themselves n dnt care for others. Yur story will make them thnk twice. Also nt only the watchman but there wud b many ppl arnd the city who like me were awake al nite stick to the tv screeen watchng it happn and prayng for al the ppl trapped or hurt. There is many bad thngs going arnd but that shudnt b the onl cause for loosing the trust in lyf in a city full of gr8 matrys sacrificng lyfs for the unknwn.
Thoughtful and powerful words!.....but are you giving up on Bombay or is the city abandoning its future? Recognizing that the journey of life is a set of choices and trade-off's, should you choose to live elsewhere: what will you give up and will the city someday tug at your heart strings?
Very poignant.....my heart is heavy, my mind is numb. This is the Bombay of my dreams, the one I left home for, the one I left again to make a new life overseas. It is like any other metro city - crowded, rushed, frantic, expensive, dirty, selfcentred .......but there's a rarity to it that cannot be summed up in words. No place is safe today, terrorists have seen to that. Yes there is relative peace and safety in other cities but everything comes at a price and as someone who has lived in many cities I can honestly say that my Bombay has the true spirit of Indianness.
Very moving...Sonia..
Take care!
Take care!
Awesome. The most awesome piece of writing I've read in a while. When it comes to helping us make sense of the senselessness all around, giving food for thought, you just cant beat the power of the word. Thank you for such a moving and thought-provoking post.
Sumita
Sumita
In India everyone is only out for themselves. Or at least that was my experience. No one cares about the poor. Or the masses of illiterate children. Or the stray animals. I got out of that country two weeks ago and I'm still having nightmares. All those horrific images that I couldn't deal with at the time. Why hassle the 'rich' tourists and leave alone the rich Indians who bribe their way out of paying taxes? Its not our fault the country is a complete mess. Maybe you should be nicer to your tourists. I'm so bitter about how we were treated. The only good thing about going there was that I'll always appreciate home.
Thanks for this, a beautiful piece of writing. I hadn't read from your blog since a long time . . .
best,
d.i.
best,
d.i.
Have been following the news since it all started and I keep thinking of how people say that this won't happen here in Cal -- because this is the home of the terrorists.
I'm glad you guys were lucky.
I'm glad you guys were lucky.
I have lived in Mumbai all my life. Yet, at point, I knew I didn't want to retire here. The thought of spending my middle/old-age leaping into trains, fighting for space on the roads, walking in filth every monsoon (and otherwise)preyed on my mind. I've got just one life, and this is not how I wanted to spend it.
The city is dying, yes. So is the rest of the country. I'm now based in Goa after a stint in the UK and it's the same here - the incompetence, the apathy, the sheer lack of political will catches up with you no matter where you go.
My family lives in Mumbai. It is still my home-city. And I deeply mourn for what has been lost.
MW
The city is dying, yes. So is the rest of the country. I'm now based in Goa after a stint in the UK and it's the same here - the incompetence, the apathy, the sheer lack of political will catches up with you no matter where you go.
My family lives in Mumbai. It is still my home-city. And I deeply mourn for what has been lost.
MW
afew weeks back only when terror hit entire delhi, i had promised myself, that few months later i shall move to mumbai...becasue i love it and it feels safe to be there...or so i thought.
this outrageous attack in Mumbai has taken my mind on a toll. the fact is that we are safe nowhere, and the ironical thing here is that we dont know what to do about it. should we hide and lock ourselfs in our appartments, or should we all come outside and hold banners and cry for peace, or should we blam someone..like the politicians, should we vote?..should we think of bringing another life on this planet to give it a threatful world too?
honestly i want to do something to help....but i dont know what...
this outrageous attack in Mumbai has taken my mind on a toll. the fact is that we are safe nowhere, and the ironical thing here is that we dont know what to do about it. should we hide and lock ourselfs in our appartments, or should we all come outside and hold banners and cry for peace, or should we blam someone..like the politicians, should we vote?..should we think of bringing another life on this planet to give it a threatful world too?
honestly i want to do something to help....but i dont know what...
Homegrown terrorism is an alarming and very chilling idea. No country likes to believe that violent and armed insurgency and militancy has taken root in its backyard. Countries tend to put the matters at the back burner for as long as possible. India is ignoring the terrorists of RSS, BJP and Bajrang Dal for too long, and now it’s the time for the them to pay back. The recent attack in Mumbai sprouts from within India and is a reaction of Babri Mosque, Gujarat Massacre and scores of other terrorist attacks on Muslims across India.
The Pakistani Spectator
http://www.pakspectator.com
The Pakistani Spectator
http://www.pakspectator.com
Still prefer peacelover Manmohan and the Congress and your namesake as the head? Maybe Advani/Modi aren't so bad, eh? Keep appeasing the appeasers and then wonder where to bring up your unborn children. Go to Canada.
'See you soon. In happier times'.
And when you start comaring one bad day with the another, what absolutes will remain?
Very well written piece this Sonia. I am reading you almost an year after I met you at Jaipur Lit fest. And thanks to your words, I can feel Bombay pains sitting here in delhi afresh.
This does look like Kabul before the curfew. It still is beautiful.
May peace find you.
And when you start comaring one bad day with the another, what absolutes will remain?
Very well written piece this Sonia. I am reading you almost an year after I met you at Jaipur Lit fest. And thanks to your words, I can feel Bombay pains sitting here in delhi afresh.
This does look like Kabul before the curfew. It still is beautiful.
May peace find you.
Hello Ghazala, Please we don't need your hypocisy and forked tongues. Sure we have our share of problems but we also have a functioning civil system, and a justice system. It is better if you concentrate in putting your own house in order rather than nurturing and providing sustencance for terrorists to attack your neighbour and screw up the world. For your dear information I am Indian and also a Muslim. I have attended two funerals....a friend lost her brother. A couple have left behind their children. We are of course angry but we will work together. I can see your smirk on your face saying we will see. You don't know my country.
But if i was you i would be worried. You have a country that is founded on lies and deception. My country is on strong ideals. Sure we have lost some of our way. But last thing we need is your crocodile tears. Keep them for the shias and sunnis you kill in the name of religion.
But if i was you i would be worried. You have a country that is founded on lies and deception. My country is on strong ideals. Sure we have lost some of our way. But last thing we need is your crocodile tears. Keep them for the shias and sunnis you kill in the name of religion.
Just the other day, I told my Boyfriend that I don't want our children to grow up in Bombay, and he disagreed. His argument was that although the city is brutal, it teaches you how to survive, even if it is at the cost of your innocence. Yesterday he asked me if I'm ready to migrate. Or live in Goa. But tell me, where is it safe? I chose not to watch the news for the past 4 days, but the first thing I read online was your blog. And i will always come back, because I love what you write, but even more what you think. :) Stay safe.
i am an indian who have lived all my life in the UAE. I have not slept for 2 days, i was glued to the tv. I could not believe that people could do such things to their fellow beings. there are no words to express what has happened there.
Okay, I stopped reading the comments after a while.
The reality ...
Mumbai is not dead. It is only another casualty of terrorism. Maimed but far from helpless.
Terrorism has affected much of the civilized world. There are reports that the United States Counter-terrorism branch warned India a few days before that a planned terrorist event was to originate from the sea". Events such as these only serve as a reminder us to be weary of the external threat.
We must be vigilant!
The reality ...
Mumbai is not dead. It is only another casualty of terrorism. Maimed but far from helpless.
Terrorism has affected much of the civilized world. There are reports that the United States Counter-terrorism branch warned India a few days before that a planned terrorist event was to originate from the sea". Events such as these only serve as a reminder us to be weary of the external threat.
We must be vigilant!
couldnt stop my tears and help choking while reading this....
Hi Sonia. Thanks for sharing. A truly touching and rare account. I have a blog covering the very best views and news on terrorism in India at http://www.IndiaAwakening.com. The goal is influence positive change in India on all fronts. I will be adding to it daily. Hope you can take a look. Let me know if you have any feedback. I will add a link to your blog. People must read these accounts.
Hi,
Sir, Mumbai Attacks have yet again created tension in south-asia.
India has finally provided the official dossier[1] to Pakistani Govt
on January 5, 2009, which allegedly contains facts.
The Pakistani Govt is preparing official reply, however, various
Pakistani analysts are also analyzing this dossier. It turn out that
official dossier contain many factual errors. Unfortunately much
material is in Urdu, but following link is quite comprehensive:
http://www.brasstacks.pk/pdf/BrassTacks_014_Dance_of_the_devil.pdf
you can skip to page-13 and specially for Dossier analysis skip to
page-66. All I can say, security agencies (like CIA, Mossad, RAW) in
order for __greater good__** kill their own people to create a bigger
plot.
Sir, It should be noted that India-Pakistan tension is not just this
terrorism issue but it is infact beyond that. For example, violation
of "Indus Water Treaty"[2] by building "Baglihar Dam"[3] in the
southern Doda district in Indian Occupied Kashmir, over Chenab river.
It is really unfortunate that in-competent Pakistani Govt didn't took
stand on this issue[4] (an alleged US-Govt pressure was also
involved).
This leads to following questions:
(1) Don't you think that Stealing the water of Chenab River is a
threat to Pakistani Agriculture and Pakistani Nation?
and is an example of "state sponsored" terrorism from India?
(2) How can peace process be continued with this back-stabbing?
regards
** possibly to justify their existence and high funding
[1] http://www.hindu.com/nic/dossier.htm
[2] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indus_Waters_Treaty
[3] http://thecurrentaffairs.com/index.php/india-violated-treaty-in-baglihar-dam-case-indus-water-commissioner/
[4] http://www.dawn.com/2008/09/22/ebr4.htm
Sir, Mumbai Attacks have yet again created tension in south-asia.
India has finally provided the official dossier[1] to Pakistani Govt
on January 5, 2009, which allegedly contains facts.
The Pakistani Govt is preparing official reply, however, various
Pakistani analysts are also analyzing this dossier. It turn out that
official dossier contain many factual errors. Unfortunately much
material is in Urdu, but following link is quite comprehensive:
http://www.brasstacks.pk/pdf/BrassTacks_014_Dance_of_the_devil.pdf
you can skip to page-13 and specially for Dossier analysis skip to
page-66. All I can say, security agencies (like CIA, Mossad, RAW) in
order for __greater good__** kill their own people to create a bigger
plot.
Sir, It should be noted that India-Pakistan tension is not just this
terrorism issue but it is infact beyond that. For example, violation
of "Indus Water Treaty"[2] by building "Baglihar Dam"[3] in the
southern Doda district in Indian Occupied Kashmir, over Chenab river.
It is really unfortunate that in-competent Pakistani Govt didn't took
stand on this issue[4] (an alleged US-Govt pressure was also
involved).
This leads to following questions:
(1) Don't you think that Stealing the water of Chenab River is a
threat to Pakistani Agriculture and Pakistani Nation?
and is an example of "state sponsored" terrorism from India?
(2) How can peace process be continued with this back-stabbing?
regards
** possibly to justify their existence and high funding
[1] http://www.hindu.com/nic/dossier.htm
[2] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indus_Waters_Treaty
[3] http://thecurrentaffairs.com/index.php/india-violated-treaty-in-baglihar-dam-case-indus-water-commissioner/
[4] http://www.dawn.com/2008/09/22/ebr4.htm
In Colaba market, a handful of terrorists stormed one of the apartment buildings at about 10 pm on that day (Wednesday) and then began randomly shooting and lobbing grenades into the street and at neighboring buildings.
